I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
