My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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