i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
