i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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