So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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