I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Found your dick twin last night
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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