The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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