Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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