Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize