Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
