Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
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