Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
