so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
