the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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