That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
