I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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