It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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