what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
