Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
