weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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