It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Never underestimate the power of titties
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