It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
