I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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