He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
