Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
