There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
