I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
