Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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