She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
