If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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