seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
