Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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