hotel room ftw
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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