What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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