My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Operation Purity has been aborted
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just forgot I was standing up.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
