Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
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she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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