I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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