she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
