When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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