I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
