The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
