She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
