Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
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I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
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It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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