he shaved USA in his pubs
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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