the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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