just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
my poor anus
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
