On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
