you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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