When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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