What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
