i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize