The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
