____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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