I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
