Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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