Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
