My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i've created a new STD.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
