i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
